Ohmigosh...

Yikes...it seemed too easy, but I installed a new commenting system!

I'll trial it, see how it goes...leave me a comment and let me know, do ya love it? Hate it? It'll take a bit to get used to?

Let's see if it actually worked!!

Date of the Week, and other stuff!

Hola, friends! Our new date of the week is up!!

Check out my far right sidebar and the "Personals" page to see who it is! Stop by and give her a little "First Date Love", when you have time!

On my "Personals" page, you'll find info on how to get listed, if you'd like...there's a great list over there!

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I've been a workin' mama this weekend...it always stinks to "go" to work, but once I'm there, it's a blast...you know?

(This is what happens when you let a co-worker "see your phone"...they take weird photos of you.)

Heard a hilariously hilarious story this weekend that I'll hafta share sometime. Seriously, pee in your pants funny!!! Or, maybe just to nurses, but anyway...I've gotta share it...it's just too good not to!

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To those who observe Lent...do you allow yourselves a "free pass" on Sunday's? I've started a discussion in my community on it!

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And one last thing...

GO USA!!!!!!!

Would You Nurse Someone Else's Baby?

Last night at work, I was talking care of a "non-English speaking" family...a culture that "breast and bottle feeds" their babes.

An entire room full of people...and no one would, could, (wanted to?) feed the baby...so, I stepped in.

Grabbed the bottle, because mama kept telling me, "no milk!" when I asked her about putting the baby to breast. (And, yes...I did educate her that, indeed, she had what the baby needed...)

So, I snuggled this babe in, and moved to stand against the wall (remember, I said "a room full of people? Yeah, not kidding. Room. FULL. of people.)

Night was falling...and one of the men in the room spoke very clear, very fluent English (I thought)...I was standing near him and he said,

"You'll nurse the baby tonight?"

Ahem...ahhhh, wha'? Me, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that, what did you say?"

He, "Do you nurse the baby tonight?"

Lemme say, never in my 11 years of nursing have I been propositioned to nurse a baby.

Me, *picking jaw up off of floor, staring blankly at him*...unsure of what, exactly, was happening...

He, sensing my confusion, "Will you take the baby to the nursery tonight?"

*exhale, breathe, laugh, giggle* Me, "Ohmigosh!!! I thought you were asking me if I'd nurse the baby!!!!"

And, the entire room full of non-English speaking visitors (but obviously English understanding...) BURST into laughter!

Hysterics!

What a moment...still giggling about it...

"Will you nurse the baby..."

Is it weird that...under different circumstances, I think I would?

I mean, NOT as a nurse (hello loss of job)...but, perhaps for a close friend or family member (and, considering...if I was lactating...which I am not, and probably will never *sniff, sniff...sob* be again) in need?

Hmmmmm...food for thought. *snort*

Five Question Friday! 2/26/10

Yay!!! Yippee!! Hooray!

It's Friday!!

And, for anyone who may have missed the memo yesterday, we're trying something new. I tossed out a little question about having a "Thursday night preview" of the 5QF questions...and, overwhelmingly, people said:

"Yes, yes, yes!!!" (Not unlike Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally")

I aim to please, so I tweeted and forumed and posted the questions last night! Missed 'em? Well, don't fret!

'Cuz here they are again!!

Rules, as always, but with a new (!!) twist: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them...thenwatch for the MckLinky to appear tomorrow morning, and link up! I would love, love, love for you to link back to me, Mama M.!

Now, without further ado...(drumroll please)...

I announce the:

Questions for Friday, 2/26/10: (Special thanks to: Lily,Thorney London, Maryanne, Renee, and moi! Do you wanna be linked in a future 5QF? C'mon over here, to my community, and offer up your question suggestions!)

1. Do you sing karaoke? If so, what is your go to song?

2. What is your favorite coffee drink?

3. If you could choose your own name, what would it be?

4. Were you ever bullied?

5. How often do you eat fast food?

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1. Do you sing karaoke? If so, what is your go to song?

First, lemme just say...if I'm singin' karaoke, you'd better hope that you are not anywhere near me.

Second, it takes me a few cocktails to loosen up enough to be able to pick up the mic.

Third, once those cocktails have taken effect...you will not be able to pry me away. Which means, that you'll want to heed my first bit of advice.

But, I've discovered...Faith Hills "This Kiss" makes for some fun karaoke'in'!

Just ask my mortified husband and the rest of his business associates.

Ahem...carrying on...

2. What is your favorite coffee drink?

Coffee has become my friend. Me and coffee...we're like this (*crosses fingers tightly*).

At home (scratch that...) anywhere...I prefer my coffee "dressed up". If I'm out and about, say at...oh, I dunno...Caribou?

It's a Dark Chocolate Skim Campfire Mocha with Whip.

Amen.

At home? Gimme a coffee with a few scoops of hot chocolate, a splash of French Vanilla Creamer, and a healthy dollop (squirt) of whipped cream (and when I say whipped cream, I totally mean, Redi Whip).

Yum.

I need some coffee now.

3. If you could choose your own name, what would it be?

It would be Mama. Just like it is.

What...you thought I had a real name? (*scoff*) As if...

First name, Mama. Last name, M.

Oh, alright...pull my leg.

I'd want something elegant and exotic.

Like...Esme.

Or, Gertrude. (I kid!! Love ya, Great-grandma Gertrude!!)

Or, Elise, Giselle, Lauren.

My mom said she wanted to name me Tracy. I kicked her in the shins and said, "then why the heck did you stick me with this hideous name?!!!"

She grounded me for kicking.

But, somehow...Mama T. just doesn't have the same ring as Mama M.

Mama T. makes me sound like I should be wearing multiple heavy gold chains and have a TV show named, "Mama T. and the Gang".

Hmmmm...maybe fate was at work when my grandma gasped and gagged and threw up in her mouth when she heard "Tracy" (really? What's wrong with Tracy? Sigh...)...Mama M. would never have been...

4. Were you ever bullied?

Well...I was beat up.

Does that count?

A friend and I walked into our local Hardee's (do those exist anymore? I'm convinced my experience was the demise of them...), she said a few choice words (under her breath) about the clientel...

I, looked at said clientel, and kept my mouth shut...they were a rough bunch.

We went potty...while sitting in the stalls...the doors open, and voices can be heard, "grumble grumble...b*t***es, grumble grumble b*t***es"...not certain that they were talking about us, I calmly exited said stall...

Only to realize, yes indeed...we were the b*t**es they were talking about.

The got up in our faces, my friend made her escape, I tried to follow...got fists to the head, hair pulled...somehow ran out to my vehicle...shaking and terrified (I was a pretty gentle kid...not my type of thing...)...

Threw the vehicle into reverse...leaving my friend inside, seeking help with the (unhelpful) management...and drove to the fire chief's house (also a long time family friend).

A couple of friends there drove me to the police station, where I was questioned about what happened (by the notorious "Bad Cop" in town), my parents called, and taken home.

Long story short(ish?), my parents were encouraged by the parents of these girls, to press charges. So, court dates and restraining orders later...I was a wreck.

Seriously...I think I had PTSD!! It was crazy.

Almost, surreal, now that I think back upon it!

Weird.

Alrighty then...moving on...

5. How often do you eat fast food?

Um, can I plead the fifth? Please?

No...I did that last week and I used up my "Pleading the Fifth" card for the month? Dang...

Okay then...we eat fast food more often than we should.

It's probably once or twice a week. And I feel greasy and yucky afterward, but it's just so dang convenient!

(And yummy at the time!)

McDonald's is typically the restaurant of choice (the kid's, not mine)...and, our pickin's are slim around here.

But, well...I guess I should work on this.

Grody.

Blech.

But...man alive! Mickey D's as some yummy coffee drinks (that I forgot to mention in #2!!)!

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There ya have it, my friends! Looking forward to reading your 5QF answers!!

Have a fabulous weekend!!

5QF, Thursday night preview!!

Wow!! (Quick foreword...if you're coming from Follow Friday...I couldn't get the button to work...all I got was a goofy little question mark?!! My apologies!)

Continuing on...

Overwhelmingly, people would LOVE to see 5QF questions "previewed" on Thursday...and I aim to please!

Tomorrow morning, I will post my answers along with the MckLinky Blog Hop! Feel free to link up, then add the blog hop code, if you wish!

Rules, as always, but with a new (!!) twist: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them...then watch for the MckLinky to appear tomorrow morning, and link up! I would love, love, love for you to link back to me, Mama M.!

Now, without further ado...(drumroll please)...

I announce the:

Questions for Friday, 2/26/10: (Special thanks to: Lily, Thorney London, Maryanne, Renee, and moi! Do you wanna be linked in a future 5QF? C'mon over here, to my community, and offer up your question suggestions!)

1. Do you sing karaoke? If so, what is your go to song?

2. What is your favorite coffee drink?

3. If you could choose your own name, what would it be?

4. Were you ever bullied?

5. How often do you eat fast food?

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All right, my friends! See ya tomorrow morning!

I Did NOT Move to Australia...

Turns out...my day has greatly improved!

'Course...snuggling with these little guys sure helped,

Not to mention a little donut eating,

(obviously not ME eating donuts...*gag*...but the kiddos enjoyed them!)

I have cancelled my flight to Australia...I won't be moving there, 'cuz afterall...

They have bad days in Australia, too!

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In other news...

Tomorrow is Friday!!! (Wow...big news, huh?!)

And, I've been contemplating something...would you 5QF'ers like it if I posted the questions on Thursday nights?

Would that make it more fun for the linking up part of it?

Or, should we just keep it as is?

And, speaking of 5QF...feel free to offer up your questions over here!

Terrible, Horrible, No Good...

I feel like Alexander today...

Google Images

First, I slept for 12 hours..

And woke NOT refreshed.

Then, I realized I've gotta cold.

I have to get ready for a baby shower that I need to leave for in 5 minutes,

I couldn't find my deodorant...

Turns out I was just using my man eyes, and it was right in front of me.

Then, I couldn't find my compact mirror...

Only to find it was (say it with me) right in front of me.

My hair looks like poop.

My regrowth is so bad I look like a "reverse" skunk.

My eyes are puffy,

I've got that horrible dead of winter pastey glow to my skin.

I need a nap.

And some chocolate (but, it's Lent, and I gave up candy).

Guess I'll go hug my kids instead.

Is There Anything...

More rewarding (and incredibly difficult at the same time) than being...

A mom?

I mean, I know there are brain surgeons and rocket scientists and people working to discover cures for cancer...

Don't get me wrong....

But, is there anything more amazing than seeing a smile...

Just because you walked into a room?

Or, soothing an owie...

With a simple kiss?

How about, knowing you are the only person on the face of the earth that knows your children's needs, wants, quirks, and preferences?

Isn't it amazing...

How God matches up just the right baby(ies) for you?

It takes my breath away.

Go Away Winter!

C'mon Spring, c'mon!!!

Find more Wordless Wednesday Posts at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Who Needs Real Friends?

When you have a best friend in the mirror?!

You can have a heart to heart with her...

And, she really listens when things get serious...

You can compare newly acquired teeth...

And practice your best model poses together...

Hold impromptu dance parties...

Teach each other your very best moves...

Then, give one another high-fives for all that fancy dancing...

And you can share all the good-bye kisses you want!

Is it Time?

Lemme set the stage:

Sweet young mother wakes...gently places a hand on her belly. Her face becomes curious...and happy.

"Honey...", she gently shakes her love awake. "I think it's time."

"Hmmm? Let me get the car, my love." says her adoring hubby, while giving her a kiss and patting her belly lovingly.

*SCCCREEEEEEECCHHHHHHH!!!!*

Stop! I wanna know right now! Do you love me? Will you love me forev...

Oops, sorry. Meatloaf sometimes takes over my brain...

Anywho, that scenario above? The nice, quiet, all-knowing "Honey it's time" scenario?

It's all a buncha crap! BS my friends!!

Let me give you a statistic...37 women out of 10 don't really know "if it's time". 'Specially if it's bambino #1.

Or, perhaps, even bambino #5...not that I'm mentioning any names on that one. Ahem...*blushing*.

There's a lot of information out there on how to determine "when it's time".

Oh, the doc's, the midwives, the books...they'll all tell you different things. All good "guidelines"...and you'll nod and "mmm, hmm" and agree...until...

Yes, until...

Those contractions start. You'll think, "ohmigosh this MUST be it!!!!" and you'll pack a bag (oh, who am I kidding?! I know, with our first babes, we all had our hospital bags packed as soon as we entered our third trimester!!) and you'll get all excited and head off to the doctor.

To discover...

Your cervix is closed.

Thick.

And located somewhere near your tonsils (which is made apparent when the doctor or nurse examines you and it feels like they're up to their elbows in you...).

And, by this time, you'll notice...by golly, those pesky contractions have slowed down.

Or stopped.

And, you'll head home, slightly embarrassed (don't be...we all do it...even, ahem, those of us who have had multiple labors before...not mentioning names again *cough*mama.m.wantedtobeinlaborbutwasn't*cough*)...still pregnant, and convinced you'll "never do that again".

Until, "again" comes around...contractions, timely contractions, seemingly "painful" contractions...and off you go.

*Ding Ding...Round 2*

Same ol' same ol'.

YOU, my friend, are experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions...or, "prodromal" labor. Contractions, that can be painful (and by pain, I mean you have no idea what real pain is at this point...), and regular.

So, I am here to give you a coupla pointers!

A few of my own "guidelines"...just for YOU!

First, dear sweet young mother...lemme just say...

YOU'LL KNOW when it's real labor!!

Labor is pain like you've never experienced before. And I don't say this to scare you.

At. All.

I'm just trying to be honest. Just call me, Mama Honest, today.

If you are TRULY in labor, you will KNOW when it is time to go to the hospital.

You will have no doubt in that mind of yours that it is time to birth that babe you've waited so long for.

Only thing is...sometimes those pesky "teaser" contractions, can truly be quite painful. Pain that makes you think..."gosh, this must be it!!"

(Again, pain is relative...i.e. ask a first time mother how painful her contractions are in early labor, and she's sure to tell you "10!!!"...ask that same mother further along in her labor and she'll say something to the effect of, "You know those contractions that I told you were a 10 earlier? Yeah, they were more like a negative 75 compared to these!!!")

So, here are some more pointers:

If the contractions go away with position changes...it's not labor.

If you can walk and talk through your contractions...it's not labor.

If you take a warm bath, and the contractions go away...it's not labor.

So, try this...

You notice you are contracting and you are standing up walking around...sit down...do they go away? Or, vice versa...if you are sitting, laying, relaxing...get up and move...do they go away then?

If yes...stay home. Labor is probably "starting", but not really active yet.

If not...take a warm bath. Typically, "real" labor will NOT slow down with a bath, in fact, sometimes taking a bath will intensify labor...then you'll REALLY know!

If you're really eager for labor to start...and you notice that your contractions are happening when you are up and about...go for a walk...do some "squats" with contractions, you might just get things going a bit more!

And if your water breaks? Well, then all bets are off.

Mama M. doesn't hold a candle to what your doctor or midwife or favorite pregnancy "How To" book says...follow their advice and "protocol" on water breakage.

Seems like there's a bit of varying opinion on this one...so, just give them a call.

Well, you know...give the doc or the midwife a call. Unless you've got the author of your favorite preggo book on speed-dial...then, feel free to call her. Or him. Whoever. (Whomever?)

Now, I hafta say, you probably won't pay any attention to those guidelines above when the time actually comes.

You'll probably be all, "Oh, that nut job Mama M., she doesn't know what the heck she's talkin' about!"...and you'll pack yourself off to the doctor.

You might stay.

You might not.

Just consider yourself warned!

Wise woman once say: She who's not sure if she is in labor...isn't in labor.