Dear Mr. FedEx Delivery Dude:
I've been standing by my door, picking my toenails, awaiting your arrival.
That package you have for me in your truck? Yeah, I want it. Bad. Like 5 days ago.
It appears as tho my beloved parcel was in Brooklyn Park two days ago. TWO DAYS!! Last I checked, it didn't take me two days to get to Brooklyn Park. At the most, maybe two hours.
So, WHERE ARE YOU?!
All my best,
PS-If you get here before I leave, I can call off the dog. Just sayin'.
PPS-Drive safe! Muah!