Because I like to help people out...and prevent anyone from taking any missteps along the road of life...I enjoy sharing newly gleaned knowledge with all y'all. (Yes, I know I'm from MinneSOOOOta...but once upon a time, I was granted permission from a Southerner to say "y'all", and so I do.)
Friends, my tips for a pool party with 9 year old girls:
1. Don't do it.
2. If you do not heed tip #1...limit yourself to a 10 minute party.
3. Trust me when I say 4 hours is too long.
4. Don't do it.
5. Make sure your daughter invites herself. And you. And that's it.
6. You know, on second thought, disregard tip #2...10 minutes is entirely too long.
7. Bring ear plugs. I didn't. What? WHAT? Speak louder...I can't hear you!!!
8. Restrain your arms at your sides...if you don't, you risk pulling out all of your hair.
9. Downside to tip#9 is that if someone goes down...they're on their own. Restrained arms are not helpful in CPR.
10. Try not to cry when it's over. Yes, I know you'll be happy...but it'll look bad to the other parents.
11. Apologize to your parents for any pool parties you had as a child. Don't be offended when they aren't at all sympathetic to your woes.
Listen to me when I tell you this. If you do not, you are risking your hair, your hearing and your sanity.
I am left with nothing left of those.