Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween!!

My kiddos woke up this morning and asked..."Can we go trick-or-treating now?"

Um...no.

But tonight, I will be spending plenty of time in the company of two superheros, a Hollywood starlet, a fairy...and one handsome man. Photos to follow...perhaps tomorrow?

And lemme just tell ya, my friends...I don't know what the weather's like where you are...but it's a bit nippy here. Okay, it's down right cold...and it really puts a damper on the costume when hats and mittens and parkas and snowsuits are required.

I don't know about you, but I don't remember Batman wearing snow boots and a Lightning McQueen hat.

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In other news...I made The Pioneer Woman's Chicken Parmigiana last night...and won over my household.

And myself.

Yes, you read that right...I won myself over. (That photo is her photo, not mine...mine didn't look nearly as pretty as that...and our dinnerwear not nearly as hip...we suffer eating off of the poor man's Corelle...)

It was so good, I had it for breakfast this morning...and I'll probably have it for lunch too, and, heck...maybe even supper.

No, scratch that...I'll probably have a nice supper of Laffy Taffy, Snickers, Nerds, and Now-n-Laters.

The Snickers, only 'cuz it's got peanuts, and I figure I'll need a little protein to get me through.

Have a safe and happy Halloween my friends!!

Five Question Friday! 10/30

Yippee!! It's Friday, it's almost Halloween, it's almost a full a moon! What more could we ask for? (Well, I mean, besides a million bucks?!)

Rules: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky Blog Hop code, and link up! No blog? That's okay! Just leave your answers in my comments! Oh, I'd love it if you'd link back to me, Mama M.!!

Okay, here we go!! (Thanks to A., Mindy, Brianne, Heidi, and Erica for their question suggestions! Wanna suggest a question and get a shout out on a future Five Question Friday? Check out my Blog Frog Community discussion thread "Five Question Friday"!)

Five Question Friday, 10/30:

1. What were you doing the last time you really had a good laugh?

2. Who was your first CELEBRITY crush?

3. What is one talent that you wish you had?

4. How often do you and your spouse go out w/o the kids? Is it frequent enough?

5. What colour(s) is your bedroom?

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1. What were you doing the last time you really had a good laugh?

Ooooh, I love having a good laugh! Love it!

Hmmm...the last time I had a good laugh? When my hubby was purposefully egging me on at supper the other night! I always give him heck, 'cuz I will tell him something...something brilliant of course, and he'll "hmmmm, mmm..." me, and then come back in a few weeks saying "My sister said, blah blah blah...", which is always just what I had told him! So, he'll listen to his sister, but not me!!

So, at supper, he was telling Big A a story that I had just told him...only he said, "My sister said she heard of this guy, blah blah blah...". I sat there with my jaw on the floor, and suddenly, he bursts out laughing! He was stringing me along! He just wanted to see my reaction...so then we all started laughing.

Dumb story, I know...but it was the last time I had a good laugh!

2. Who was your first CELEBRITY crush?

Okay...please don't laugh.

Oh, what am I afraid of? I'm guessing that a lot of you out there are around the same age as me...so here goes...

Donny Wahlberg...yes, the Donny, of the New Kids on the Block! Joey was super cute, but, gosh...everyone liked him...so Donny bettered my odds.

Ha! Bettered my odds! And yes, that is how I thought!

Ooooh, speaking of NKOTB...anyone go to their "reunion" concert? I didn't...couldn't bring myself to do it. I was afraid that watching a bunch of 30 something (40?) men dancing to "Hangin' Tough"...just couldn't do it.

3. What is one talent that you wish you had?

Oh, man...I wish I had a lot of talents!!

I wish I could play the piano...but really...I wish I could sing!

Oh, I do sing...I torture my family...and if I'm feeling particularly evil...I'll sing my sentences...opera style.

You can bet it is a sound to hear!

I've actually broken glasses. Okay, well...I haven't, but it makes my family laugh! And I love making people laugh!!

4. How often do you and your spouse go out w/o the kids? Is it frequent enough?

NO!! It's not often enough!

I'd say, maybe...maybe once a month.

But boy do I enjoy it!

It's so nice to reconnect and discuss adult things and not have to share your food or shush someone.

Mmmmm...I think it's time for date night!!

5. What colour(s) is your bedroom?

Oooooh, you read for this?

Wait for it...wait for it...

White!

Isn't that exciting?

Okay, stop yawning now...truely, our bedroom needs some help. We've been married for almost 9 years, and we still have the bedroom furniture I received for my 15th (yes, my 15th) birthday...and a ratty old dresser we picked up after we were married! We have a kickin' mattress...but no headboard.

It's a sad sight. A really sad sight!

Well...there you have it! Now, it's your turn!

Kryptonite

Hi, I'm Mama M.

(This is where you all say, "Hi, Mama M!")

I have an addiction. It's a problem.

Well, okay...it's totally not...but I did recently discover my weakness, my favorite, my soft spot.

My kryptonite.

The cupcake.



Oh, man are they great! They come all individually wrapped and iced (whipped, definitely whipped!!) and sprinkled...and they are just. plain. heavenly. dangerous. What's not to love about something individually wrapped with sprinkles? I mean, c'mon, I know it's not a diamond...but dang close.


Dang close!!

Cupcakes are a girl's best friend.

Well, that and shoes.

And...and?!!! No matter how many cupcakes you eat...your shoes will still fit! Man, sista'...it don't get better than that!

It just don't.

So, what's your kryptonite?

A Lesson Learned

So, the other day...I kinda bragged a little bit.

Just a lil'.

Okay, okay...I totally bragged and boasted. I told the world and anyone who'd listen, that I was caught up on my laundry!

I tweeted and Facebooked and emailed and texted (texted--is that really a word?!) and phoned and, heck, I even stopped strangers on the street.

And everyone was very happy for me! Well, to my face they were...behind my back, they were all probably, "Why, that little, boastful, full of herself gal..."

But then...

I think the laundry gods, the laundry powers that be, caught wind of my puffed out chest...and decided to set me in my place.

Yup, they deflated me with a big SAH-MACK, SLAPPITY, SLAP, SLAP...right upside the head.

For, it seems, that while I know my laundry had issues of procreating before...it now seems as though they are procreating in earnest.

Kinda like that stray cat we had a while ago.

Yeah...just like that stray cat.

And now? Now I've got laundry comin' outta the wahzoo.

Blech.

Healthy Thru the Holidays...With Mama M. and Keely!

What do you think of when you think of the Holiday's?
When I think of the Holiday's I think of food, parties and great company (presents?!!). I also think of all the unhealthy food that comes about during the Holiday's...and I think about how I absolutely do not want to gain any weight from all the food I will be consuming.

Wouldn't it be great if we could just eat a little healthier? Maybe get that kick in the butt to get us moving? Well Keely and I are starting a Healthy Thru The Holiday's Campaign...just for you (and, well...us too!)!

Starting Tuesday, Nov 3 we will be kicking it off. It will run 'til Jan 2, 2010, which is 60 days. Sixty days of Keely and I encouraging you, motivating you and giving you healthy eating tips and exercise tips...plus, a group of women in the same boat as you, who will also motivate and encourage you along!

"The plan?", you ask?

The plan is, on every Tuesday of the week will have a MckLinky Blog Hop...so, those of you with blogs will link up (if you need a little help with the linky-doo part, let one of us know, we can talk you through it!). The first post will be why you feel you can benefit from our campaign. For those of you that do not have a blog and want to participate...all you'll have to do is leave a comment on either my blog or Keely's.

After the first Tuesday, and every Tuesday after that, when you link up you will be posting about your progress...how many hours you logged working out that week and how you incorporated our tips.

Thursdays will "Tip Day"...the day that we'll provide you with healthy tips and exercise tips. I will have the healthy tips on my blog and Keely will have the exercise tips on hers.

The goal, or focus, of our campaign is not about the weight or the inches you lose..but about eating healthier and getting fitter...a lifestyle...not a diet! There will be no weigh ins...you will never have to tell anyone how much you weigh..this is not about that, weight loss will be a likely side benefit, but our focus is health!

You will strive to work out for a certain amount of hours during the week. We will give you a goal for the week, of course, feel free to go over that goal (hee hee!!), but for sure do your best to meet the goal! The more hours logged..the more it benefits you!

Wanna know why?

Cause there will be a prize at the end of the 60 days for the person who logs the most hours working out!! So remember to write down your hours!

Next Tuesday we will have a more detailed post about what you can do to get those hours and how many hours you'll have to do that week.

We also are trying to come up with a name and would like your help.

The 2 names we have are..

Sexy in 60

Hot and Healthy

So will you vote on the one you like best?

Cause once we know the name, we will have a button made, for all y'all to display proudly on your blogs!! ;)

So what do ya say? You in? Sound like fun? We will be doing it right along side of you..we won't be standing at the sidelines.

Oh, and be on the lookout for daily updates and support in my (or Keely's) Blog Frog Community!!

Mucous Plugs--For Women's Eyes Only!

If you are a man, hoping to find pajama-ed ladies having pillow fights, or...or, mud wrestling, or...ESPN sports reports...RED X RIGHT NOW!!

This post is not for you!

I promise you, man...you'll thank me later for warning you ahead of time to steer clear!

We're gonna talk about periods...

Okay, that last comment shoulda gotten rid of the last of the men stragglers, dontcha think?

Today, my lady friends, we're gonna talk about something (gosh, imagine that! A blog post...talking about something...go figure!). Something that, seemingly, has the childbearing woman keeping a close eye out for.

Something...that is kinda yucky, and personal, and well...a little slimy.

We are here today, ladies, to discuss...Mucous Plugs. In my line of work we hear a lot about these mucous plugs. And I'm here to be quite frank...and honest with you.

Pay no attention to those pesky little things.

I know, I know...you're sitting there stammering, and sputtering, and saying, "But...but...Mama M! All the pregnancy books tell us to be on the lookout for this glob of slimy discharge!!!"

And I'm here to tell you, with a gentle little pat on your head "I know, sweet young mother, I know. Those books are wrong. Mucous plugs don't mean a darn thing, my love."

I've had five kiddos of my own, and seen countless, numerous, (and pretty durn amazing) births...and I can't honestly say that I've ever seen a mucous plug.

Oh, I'm sure they exist...that cute little cork to protect that little munchkin from...stuff, but they're not worth their weight in, well...anything.

There's a standing joke amongst we Labor and Delivery nurses, when we hear, "I think I've lost my mucous plug!", what we (jokingly) want to tell those sweet young mothers is, "Well, you know...you can't be admitted until you find it!"


*Bah dum dum-ching!!*

Get it? It's lost and you have to find it before you can...well, nevermind...it's a dumb joke.

"Losing" your mucous plug means nothing more than you could go into labor in an hour or in 6 months. Really, they're totally unrelated. Kind of.

You see, when your cervix starts to dilate, your "plug" can come uncorked. If you're lucky, you'll start to do some dilating ("ripening" we like to call it) sometime around 36 weeks. A little dilation, a little effacement...so that when you do go into labor, some of the work will have already be done (painlessly) for you. This is where you may lose your mucous plug.

And it's okay.

Really. It is. I promise.

And, you don't need to go to the hospital, or heck...even call, if you lose your mucous cork.

In a totally random side story about when not to call the hospital in a panic, I once answered the phone at work, to this:

(Insert panicky voice here...) "THE HIGHWAY 23 BRIDGE IS CLOSED!!!!"

Me...(insert long pause here, I mean gosh...what do you say to that? "Gee thanks?")...so I said, "Okay?"

Ms. Panic: "BUT...BUT...THAT WAS MY ROUTE TO THE HOSPITAL!!!"

Me..."Um, ma'am. Are you in labor? Which baby is this for you?"

Ms. Panic: "NO, I'M NOT IN LABOR!! AND IT'S MY FIRST BABY! BUT, HOW AM I GOING TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL IF I DO GO INTO LABOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Me..."When are you due? Are you contracting?"

Ms. Panic: "NOT FOR THREE WEEKS, AND I'M NOT HAVING ANY CONTRACTIONS...BUT, I MEAN, WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I GO INTO LABOR?!"

Me..."Could you hold please." Bwahahahahahaha...Hahahahaha...ha...ha. And then, I composed myself, asked around for the best alternate route to the hospital, and kindly gave it to her, reassuring her that everything would be okay, especially, since this was her first baby...and first baby's take awhile...and, you know, she wasn't in labor...and perhaps, she could use the interim time to practice driving the new route to the hospital.

She calmed down, thanked me for my time, and hung up.

And that is "Rule #2" for not panicking and calling the hospital (and Rule #1 would be the whole mucous plug issue.).

Holy smokes...I totally went astray there. Anywho...I digress.

So, mucous plugs are highly over rated...but I've heard you can google it and find some lovely pictures to compare your own glob of mucous to.

Weird.

I know. And I don't really want to see them for myself...or I'd have uploaded one to this post.

Sorry, I should really start thinking more of what you'd maybe like to see...instead of focusing on what I know I don't want to see.

So, my dears, remember, mucous plug, fluke-ous schmug. And if you have any questions or concerns...please see your doctor. (That was my disclaimer...that sentence right before this one.)

Wise woman once say: "She who loses mucous plug...loses mucous plug. End of story."

Any questions?

All my love,

Not Me! Monday

Last week, I totally did not sleep in and miss out being "close to the top" on MckMama's Not Me! Monday list. And this week? Well, I certainly was not being a responsible adult and tending to our bills. Yuck.

So, this week, I did not develop a loathing of all things atomic. Atomic bombs, atomic fire balls...well, okay, what I mean is...I do not hate our atomic alarm clock. It woke me up, just like it was supposed to, at 6 am for my 7 am shift on Sunday. I went about my business and was getting ready to leave, when I glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that it read, 7:15. What the?! I went back into the bedroom, and "sho' nuff" that clock said 6:15...now, for anyone who "observes" daylight savings time, maybe this happened to you. Turns out that the stupid clock did not reset itself one hour early, because last Saturday was not the "original" turn back the clock night. Only, it's next week. So, needless to say, I did not call work in a panic and shout, "This is Mama M!! What time is it?!?!?!?!" And convince my fellow employees that, yes, indeed, I was crazy! I do not detest modern technology, nope, not me!!

I am not cursing the unfairness of one child still sleeping (later than usual at 9:20 am!!!) and one child who woke early (before 8 am, which is like the middle of the night for me...blech!)...looks like it will not be a nap day for mama! No way, Jose...I never take naps at naptime/quiet time!

Speaking of sleep, I did not fall into such a hard and fast sleep watching Seven Pounds that Mr. Wonderful finished the movie, removed his arm from under my head, packed up the laptop, finished getting reading for bed...and I didn't wake, move, or twitch. Well, maybe I twitched, I can't be sure! I was not so shocked to hear this, that I did not exclaim, "Well, did you make sure I was still alive?!" Nope, I am never dramatic! Not me!

Happy Monday, friends! Now, head on over to MckMama's to see what everyone else hasn't been up to!!

The TreeHouse Chronicles--Day 77

Mr. Wonderful missed his calling.

He shoulda been a carpenter.

A TreeHouse carpenter!

Please take note of the above picture...no more funky gap! Mr. Wonderful's un-perfectionism is now concealed...he can breathe a huge sigh of relief, now that no one can really tell, anymore, that there is that odd, slightly larger than the rest gap in the rafters...'course, when you go up into the loft (yes!! A loft! I think I'll refer to it as a proper noun from here on out...as in, The Loft!)...you'll be able to see that freaky un-properly spaced gap.

But we won't remind Mr. Wonderful of that, will we?

The view from the bottom, lookin' up at The Loft...

*Shiver*...just look at this ladder!!?!! Talk about a mother's irrational fears...great. Now, I have another something to worry 'bout (as if I needed more!). E.W. said, "It's a straight up and down ladder, mama!!!"

"Um, yes...I see that my dear...now, careful, careful!!! Oh, just let mama lift you down! Please? Please?!?!?"

Clearly, he was impressed with it's verticalness...just climbing the dang thing sent my heart into palpatations. Well, that and the 43 pots of coffee I had today...then, at the top, my hips caught.

Stupid loft.

Mark my words. I will never be humiliated by The Loft and it's freaky ladder and narrow landing.

Nope...not setting foot up there again.

Well, okay, I lied. I probably will. It's pretty cool...and I never like to deny myself anything that's, you know, cool.

Know what's not cool?

The TreeHouse is running over budget by...oh, say...a thousand bucks. (Insert pinky into corner of mouth...Dr. Evil style) One thousand dollars.

I didn't think we'd put any money into it. Like I told Mr. Wonderful, "Gee, hon...I thought you shoulda just slapped up four posts and some boards and called it a TreeHouse."

His response? "I don't know how to 'just slap up a few boards'."

Dang perfectionism...it'll getcha everytime.

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In other Mr. Wonderful un-perfectionist events:

That wardrobe disaster would be the unfortunate outcome when you have a potty training accident and daddy's in charge.

Someone must inform him that purple and reddish/orange do not go together.

Hope your weekend was fantabulastic!! (*Gasp*...another new word!!)

Awards Season!

..."I'd like to thank the Academy..."

Well, okay, not the Academy, but Amanda, Elizabeth, and Richele, for thinkin' I'm awesome enough for some awards! "I love you, man!!"

First, thank you to Amanda and Elizabeth, who gifted me with this:

And, since I worked a hard four hours today, and didn't get much sleep...I'm just gonna take it. I'm just gonna selfishly accept it and forget any rules that it comes with! I was lucky enough to receive this award previously, so if you really wanna read some "Honest Scrap" about me, go ahead, knock yourself out!! Click here or here! But you'll probably be "like huh, and like wha'...and you'll get a little bored an'..." (and that was my favorite line from Bolt...completely random, I know...).

Richele, whom (or is it "who"? This grammar stuff always trips me up a little...and to think I considered an English major...) I think is ultra witty and fun, awarded me this:

Rules (darn rules...always some stinkin' rules...) are:

To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

'K, dem's da rules...but see, I have this little problem...I don't like to follow rules, and besides that, I'm tired...and a little cranky...and I don't have the patience to award 15 people (fifteen?!!!! Yikes! Who makes these rules anyway?! I wanna talk to this person, give 'em a piece of my mind...'course, bein' the wimp I am, I'd be all "Oh, yeah...it's totally okay, uh huh...15 is a great number!!" But, NO!! It's not...) so, I'm just gonna do five.

That okay?

You sure?

Good! (Boy, it's so good when you talk to yourself, 'cuz you get just the answers you're lookin' for!!)

And the "Best Blogger Award" goes to...

(See, here's my other hang up..."Best" means, well...the best...and, there can only be one person on the top...so what's up with this 15 thing? Not sayin' that it should be moi at the top...nope not at all, just sayin', well...I dunno what I'm saying. I need a nap.)

I digress...so, the award goes to...

Kate @ Kate's Life

Tamara @ The (Un)Experienced Mom

Amanda @ Out Numbered by Testosterone

JD @ Infinite Adventures at the Zoo (a private blog, so you'll just have to trust me that it's awesome!)

Karen @ This and That

Okay, that about wraps it up!

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But not quite!!

Remember my promise to you?

The "Babylegs" promise?

Well, here I am, in all my "Babylegs" glory:

Please look beyond the double, triple, quadruple chinish neckish thing I've got goin' on...I was about three sips into some wine spiked cider, which equates to me being nearly "completely wasted".

Honestly.

And I can't take a good picture to save my life.

Happy Saturday!

Five Question Friday! 10/23

Dude!! It's Friday?!?! I wanna know...just how the heck did that happen? Wasn't it just Friday, like, yesterday? Well, that means it's time for 5QF!!

Rules for Five Question Friday: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky Blog Hop Code, and link up! I'd be ever so grateful if you'd link back to moi, also! If you don't have a blog, but wanna participate, I invite you to answer in my comments!

October 23rd Questions: (thanks to A., Tamara, Kimberly and Mindi for question suggestions!! Wanna contribute to future 5QF questions and be linked? Check out my Blog Frog community for the "Five Question Friday" thread!)

1. Whats your favorite horror movie?

2. Bath tub or Hot tub?

3. Do you prefer to view a movie at the theater or at home?

4. If you could chose a maid, cook or chauffeur, which one would you choose?

5. Electric Slide, Boot Scootin' Boogie, or the Macarena?

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1. Whats your favorite horror movie?

Man, it's hard to pick just one! When I was just a temperamental, pimple faced teenager, my dad and I would have "scary movie night" when my mom played volleyball...she hates scary movies and refuses to watch them, so my dad and I capitalized on her absence!

He totally introduced me to the "oldies"...the classic horror flicks...The Shining, Children of the Corn, The Exorcist.

I've gotta say...The Shining really creeped me out. Really...well, actually, they all did! And I'm still a horror flick movie lover today!

Ooooh, I just remembered...did you ever see, Along Came a Spider? Fah-reaky!!!

2. Bath tub or Hot tub?

Bath tub...without a doubt, a bath tub! But it's gotta be a deep, whirlpool tub with some dang hot water!

Whenever I go in a hot tub, I always hafta take a shower when I'm done 'cuz I hate feeling all chlorinated! Blech!!!

So, yup...definitely bath tub for this gal!

3. Do you prefer to watch a movie at the theater or at home?

Hmmm...this is a "depends" question! If it's a special effects movie, probably the theater...but overall, I'm definitely more of a homebody!

I like the "pause" option when you have to go potty...well, that, and being able to snuggle up under a cozy warm blanket with Mr. Wonderful!

4. If you could chose a maid, cook or chauffeur, which one would you choose?

A MAID!!!!!

Oh, please, please, please can I have a maid?! I'm good with all the rest! I enjoy cooking, the driving's not so bad...

But the cleaning? Oh, Lord help me Jesus, do I need a maid! Preferably a live in one who doesn't mind doing our dirty underwear, too!

Sigh...oh, how I wish I had a maid.

5. Electric Slide, Boot Scootin' Boogie, or the Macarena?

Electric Slide, baby!!! Once, in my glory days...I was out with friends when the Electric Slide came on the car radio...we stopped the car and got out on the street, right there (course, we were in the middle of now where...that happens a lot in MinneSOOOOOta) and we danced the Electric Slide.

It was spontaneous and fun and I even have pictures of it!

Well, somewhere, I have pictures of it...I'm not sure where, but I remember seeing them once upon a time.

And there ya have it!! Now, it's your turn! Happy Friday, friends! Have a great weekend!

Oh, What a Night!!

It's a tough balance, being a working mom with career responsibilities, and being a mom, with my passion and heart at home with my kids, you know?

With my kiddos sick, I stayed home yesterday and today for the first four hours of my shift, then let Mr. Wonderful take over the task of tending to the children. Tonight, as I was leaving my teary kids, prying their grubby paws off my legs, taking my heavy heart with me...I remembered...

One of my most fantastic friends was being induced today! And, boy, did that put a little bounce in my step! I figured, I'd get to work, have a few extra minutes to go visit her and the new babe (I was assuming she'd be done...she's done this a few, well, okay, a half dozen times before).

Honestly, this woman is the most kind, patient, warm fuzzy you'll ever meet. She is so easy to talk to and is just an awesome person!

So, I got to work, and one of my co-workers looks at me slyly and says, "You have your friend!"

I coulda danced a jig right there! She hadn't delivered yet!

And I was privileged enough to be her nurse!

It was an amazing birth...truly amazing. My incredible friend has a sister who has a pretty profound disability from a birth trauma, and my friend made a promise to God that if she ever had another baby, she'd let her sister watch. She knew her sister would never have the experience of birth herself, so she wanted to provide her the chance to watch. This promise she made, she tells me, "was an easy promise. We were done having kids, so I could make that promise without any hesitation."

Well, God...He doesn't always have the same plan as us! And a month after making her "easy" promise to Him, she was pregnant!

And, so...tonight, I was privileged enough to be in attendance at a delivery that was sooo amazingly wonderful. So calm, so controlled, so special for everyone present!

Amazing...simply amazing.

I'll never tire of the miracle of birth, that's for sure!

Ode to Homeschooling Mamas

Let it be known...let me shout it from the rooftops for all to hear:

Homeschooling mama's are amazing!!!!

Seriously, how do you do it? How many of you had backgrounds in teaching prior to making the decision to homeschool?!

This week, I have essentially been a homeschooling mama...with two of my three school aged children home with (what I'm assuming is) H1N1, all week long, we've gotten some homework from school to keep up a little (or try).

But, geepers, Lou!! I find myself saying things like, "1+1=2, what do you mean why? Just because, that's what it is! What do you mean you don't understand?"

I know. I'm awful...but I don't have the foggiest on how to teach!?!?! When I try to explain something, I'm always questioning if I'm doing it right, am I explaining things over their heads or way beneath them?!

I think I need a donut.

And we've only been at it for, oh...3 minutes.

Sigh...I just feel like grabbing the darn worksheet and filling it out myself!

Throw me in a room with a mama and a crowning baby and I'll perform like a well oiled machine...throw me in a room with my kids and their math home work, and I'm all gummed up, rusted out, broken down.

Help me, my friends!! Tips, ideas, suggestions! (wanna just do it for me?) I'm clueless, and I feel like a horrible mama...for Pete's sake, I should be able to help my second grader with her math!!!

Homeschooling mamas, you have my undying respect, admiration, and love.

Yes, it's true, homeschooling mama, I love you.

You're amazing!

An Unwelcome Houseguest

Pssst...hey you! Yes, you!!

I've gotta warn you about something...no, no, actually someone!

If this lady...she goes by the name of Aunt Flow, comes knockin' at your door...do not!!! let her in!

She is an ungrateful, vile little guest.

Take my word...while the rest of your household will remain seemingly unaware of her presence, she will bring you down, girl!

She will make you one mean, bloated, pimple-faced psycho--she's like that, you know.

She'll wreck your clothes, make you buy things you'll just have to throw away, she'll make you stuff your face with everything and anything in sight, and still not leave you satisfied.

She greatly overstays her welcome...leaving only after a miserable 5-7 day visit. She'll leave your trashcans overflowing with her nastiness, and she may even have the audacity to wake you from your deep slumber, just to pay her some attention!

Worse yet, she'll worry you when she's late, turn you into a fretting, nervous wreck (or, perhaps, you'll embrace her lateness...and begin having sweet dreams of a different little houseguest)...yet, when she arrives you'll curse her arrival with every bit of your being.

I'm warning you...if Aunt Flow comes knocking...run, hide, do not answer the door.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I did.

Mama's Exhausted

Please bear with me while I moan, sniff, grovel...I am beat.

It appears as tho' we've been kissed by pigs (or, so I like to think anytime one of the kiddos begins to sniffle, cough, or sneeze)...tending to our gaggle of ill children (and, really, who am I to complain...presently we're only at 2 outta 5, not too horrible) makes for a tired mama.

That, and...living my day in 30 minute increments.

Again, not complaining...to have a baby girl so intent on potty training is fabulous...it's just that the setting, resetting, setting, resetting of my handy kitchen timer to remind us, "it's time to go potty!!!"...gets a smidge tiring. And, add to it, the additional 3 times in 30 minutes that Tiny Girl would proclaim, "POTTY!!" and we'd rush to bathroom, and she'd squeeze out a couple of drops of potty and be on her merry little way...that's a lot of rushing. Something I'm not too entirely used to.

I ain't no spring chicken anymore...I was all over this potty training gig with the first three...number four was so, so...number five, and I'm ready for bed by 7 pm...after 18 gazillion trips up the stairs.

Do you have any idea how many calories I burned today? 18 gazillion trips is a whole heckuva lot of stairs!! I don't need no stinkin' stairmaster!!

Just give me a baby to potty train, and I'll be burning calories like Michael Phelps.

Which makes me wonder...think I can adopt his 12,000 calorie diet yet?

Hmmmm...*sigh, stretch, yawn*...I dunno, but this mama needs her bed.

See ya in the mornin'!