Thursday, August 20, 2009

A Lesson in Reproduction

So, you know, I have five children...I'm a labor and delivery nurse, you'd think I'd know a smidge 'bout reproduction, no? Well, yeah...you'd think!!

Turns out, I'm stumped about something...just simply cannot figure it out. Hoping maybe someone has some answers for me, I guess...

I'm wondering...

I'm really hoping you have an answer for me...

Do they make birth control for laundry?

I mean, sheesh!! Somethin's gotta give, here! All this laundry fornication has me feeling, a little...dirty. Gosh, to just imagine what's going on behind closed doors, while we sleep...dirty socks doin' the tango, reds cuddlin' up to the jeans (they better not turn them pink!!), darks spooning each other. Ewwww, you know??

*Shudder*...it's almost as bad as picturing your parents "shakin' hands" (if ya know what I mean, *wink, wink*) (oops, okay, sorry I put that picture in your head...)!

You know, I go to bed, caught up on laundry...I wake up and it's doubled. How does that happen? Little A.'s clothes seem especially, um, "loose"...ahem. Geepers, the kid wears the same amount of clothes as everyone else, but somehow he ends up with, like, 32 piles of clothes compared to everyone else's 16 (ahem...yeah, so what? So, I, like, only do laundry when everyone's down to their last pair of unders, so?).

I dunno what to do anymore...this laundry of mine is outta control. I'd love to ship it off to boarding school...or, maybe finishing school is more appropriate...you know, send 'em away, and they'd come back all...finished or something?

Advice...please?


11 comments:

  1. You crack me up! If you figure out what to do...let me know!

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  2. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I know a solution, but it's not for everyone... it's called "Nudist Colony".

    LOLOL!!

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  3. So glad to know I'm not the only one that puts laundry off to the last minute! Ours multiplies too! Today, I had to dry myself after the shower with a hand towel!!! (hmmm, I'm sensing inspiration for a not me monday post...)

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  4. We call ours Mount Laundry. My husband's clothes are the ones that seem to procreate the most frequently.

    (Hint: you have to keep the boy clothes and the girl clothes separated!! Most people think that darks and lights is the way to go...NOT SO, my friend! That is how the mountain grows!)

    I started a few new rules that seems to cut down.....SOME.

    1. Unless you get soaked, you wear what you are wearing until after your bath, at which time you will put on your jammies.(I don't care that school uniforms aren't fun! I am not doing double laundry so you can be stylish to watch TV and do homework!)

    2. You wear the same jammies for 1 week.....unless you pee the bed, in which case....please change. And next time, get up and go to the bathroom.(My middle daughter got up one night, walked into the bathroom and walked right back out. I was still in the living room, and intrigued. I watched her walk back over to her bed, pull down her pants, and pee on her bed. She seriously thought she was on the toilet. WHAT?!!)

    3. We have designated towels for each person. Each person must use their towel for one week. If your towel smells because you didn't hang it up....tough. Hang it up next time.

    I HATE laundry! HATE IT! Why can the powers that be NOT seem to figure out a way to create a washing machine that ALSO dries!! Why the switching midway???? So inefficient!

    I am SO buying the laundry mesh zipper bags for the socks. That will be my next rule.

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  5. Too Funny!!! I don't mind doing the laundry...I just hate folding it and putting it away...it tends to sit around awhile..

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  6. Great post- thanks for the laugh!!

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  7. Please if you find something let me know, I might just have to bring in a goat soon!

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  8. You are WAY too funny! If you could tell me where all the missing socks go too that would be great!
    BTW, how come you don't have a button? I wanna post a button to your blog on mine :) Guess I'll have to settle for putting you on my blog list...

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  9. I like the shipping school idea. Get it all outa here. I'm sick of laundry, sick of clothes..ugh!!!.
    Although, the nudist colony idea is tantalizing.

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  10. haha!!!!! never, ever thought of laundry that way before!!! but you are so rigiht! They multiply like rabbits!!!!

    what next? ...can't wait :o)

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  11. I'm totally with you! I only have 1 child and I feel like I'm drowning in laundry..can't imagine what it would be like with 5...you deserve a gold star!

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I love comments! And, I welcome your thoughts that aren't in agreement with mine...as long as they are respectful!

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